In particular, I was thinking about the various universal and deep emotional needs a son has in relation to his dad. More to the point, what sort of things does a son NEED to hear from his father regularly - most particularly during his early formative years. What kinds of words do boys retain deep psychological wounds for want of hearing?
I came up with three:
1) "You are my son":
A simple acknowledgement. Boys derive a large part of their identity from their fathers. This sounds simple, but it conveys a boatload to a son about who he is - and who his dad is to him. This is made explicit in societies where a person was known as “[Name], son of [Dad’s Name]”.
2) "I love you":
Little explanation is necessary here. Sometimes boys only hear this phrase uttered from their fathers in frustration, followed by that most cruel word ", but..."
3) "I am proud of you."
This is the only one which is not unconditional. There may be times when you are not particularly proud of your son. No father beams with pride when his boy is caught robbing a liquor store. But the default setting for a father in regard for his son should be pride.
I stewed on these three things for a couple of days. I knew I'd heard them somewhere, but I couldn't place it. Then it finally hit me. Twice in the Gospel, God says the following to Jesus:
"This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased" - Matthew 3:17, Matthew 17:5
It was an cool nugget of wisdom to find. In that one sentence, God the Father points readers toward all three deep needs of a son. In doing so, He gives us fathers an example to follow. And this reminds me of yet another verse:
"For this cause I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom all paternity in heaven and earth is named." - Eph 3:14-15 (DRV)
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