Poetry: "Necessary"

"Necessary"


One cloudy afternoon I roamed through Saint Peter's square.
I could not tell you to this day what impulse brought me there.
But I pressed my way on through the crowd, squeezing past the throng.
Many were simply standing there, having waited all day long.

Then a man appeared on a balcony, dressed up in white and red.
A hush came over the crowd of people, and here is what he said:
He said we are thoughts in the mind of God, that each of us is planned.
He said we are all "necessary", with a station that must be manned.

How many people did he say that to? The massive crowd that day.
And this God of his made every soul in a unique and special way?
This old German must have lost his mind across his many years!
Is God so foolish to have made a watch with six billion gears?

But "necessary" was his word, does he truly believe that bilge?
To think every that every human being is positively willed?
Does the kraut allow exceptions? Or does he think its true...
And every person has a divine mission... which only he can do?

.....

He walked in procession through the square that dreary Wednesday night.
And I stuck around the whole day just looking for a fight.
Resolved that when he passed by I'd shout as loudly as I can.
"Do you believe we're 'necessary' you foolish little man?"

"What of the poor and the forgotten, the homeless on the streets?
What of the depressed and lonely, and the most wretched whom we meet?
What of the child conceived in rape, whom everyone says should die!
You tell me they're all 'necessary' to your God up in the sky!?"

To my shock he heard my voice and limped to where I stood.
Then he repeated "necessary" as sincerely as he could.
He held my hands inside of his and with an accent as thick as fog.
He repeated, "Each vun of us is necessary in zse loving plan of God."

"What about me, you fool, do you know what I have done?
I've never once felt the hand of God, or had a vision of His Son!
I don't belong to your God above or your devil below.
And still you say these things of me which you can't possibly know."

His eyes were filled with pity, and I feared what he would say.
The old man's gaze had trapped me, I had to get away.
I turned and walked from him before he could give reply.
But now that word haunted me, and I wasn't quite sure why.

.....

A week ago I took a walk, on a forest trail by night.
When I saw a haunting figure, out the corner of my sight.
He was looking down at the crumpled leaves, and then to the stars above.
I thought I heard him give a sob, and spied a pistol in his glove.

Against my better judgment I called out to the lonely man.
He turned around and stared at me, the weapon in his hand.
"What is there to live for", he demanded through his tears.
"This life is nothing but pointless pain, a nightmare which lasts for years."

I said I wouldn't stop him, and I would not tell a soul.
And if he wanted me to leave, I'd continue on my stroll.
But if he wasn't in a hurry, we could stay and talk a bit.
Because I'd thought of suicide more times than I'd admit.

I recounted to him my tale of woe and the trials I'd survived.
(Perhaps if I'd been someone else, it would have seemed contrived)
How through it all I soldiered on, not sure what life was for.
And each day I thought to myself, "I'll go on for just one more."

"Now if all this about 'God loves you' and 'heaven' is just a myth.
Then all this really ends in death, so let's get it over with.
I agreed with him it really seems there's no meaning to be found.
But just in case I'm incorrect... I'd like to stick around."

Perhaps something I said to him broke his grim design.
He dumped the bullets onto the ground, sighed, and then resigned.
"What do you live for", he asked as I turned around to leave.
"A German Holy-man said I am 'necessary' ... and perhaps I will believe."


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Source Lecture:

“The purpose of our lives is to reveal God to men. And only where God is seen does life truly begin. Only when we meet the living God in Christ do we know what life is. We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary. There is nothing more beautiful than to be surprised by the Gospel, by the encounter with Christ. There is nothing more beautiful than to know Him and to speak to others of our friendship with Him.”  - Pope Benedict XVI