My Best Man Speech

 I recently served as the Best Man at the wedding of my good friend Ben and his (now) wife Lauren. I thought I'd share and store it here.  In memory of Matthew Paul Strong - perfect baby boy called back to the Lord in infancy.

Good evening, everyone. 

For those who don't know me, I'm Steven O'Keefe. I first met Ben about 15 years ago when he was a high school student and I was a new youth minister teaching a Bible study. Back then I knew him as a student, but now I know him as a friend, a confidant, a brother, and a fellow worker at that same Bible study as we try to pass along what we received to even more young people.

As I think about what we've all borne witness to today - this miraculous culmination to an improbable journey - three words come to mind: I WAS RIGHT

But let's take a step back and tell the story a little bit. For many people, Ben is a calm, ponderous, almost Entlike being. But beneath that Entlike exterior is a man who has a strong inner fire and passion. And as long as I've known him, he's been looking for the proper use of that fire. At the end of high school he set off on an odyssean journey to find its purpose.

He began by sailing to Ball State to study literature. Perhaps that's where he'll use the fire.  He studied hard and passionately to master the appreciation of the written word. He also formed a little Catholic community while he was down there. Four years later, he emerged with his degree in literature. But alas, that's not what the fire was for.

Now he has a literature degree, which is a truly practical and coveted thing to have.  There's really only three things you can do with a literature degree. You either write some literature, go back into academia and teach literature, or become a monk. Ben took the most financially viable option and became a monk. (At least then the poverty is voluntary)

So Ben gets onto his boat and sails to the monastery. He'll use that fire to become the best Franciscan friar he can be. And he works hard at doing that. But alas, Franciscans can be a very silly people, things kinda fall apart, and soon he found himself back in the world.

This is a confusing and adrift time in our hero's journey. Should he go into the workforce? Should he try again at a different monastery? Where will the fire be used? At this point, Ben is being moved along by God toward his vocation, but he doesn't realize it. 

He starts doing youth ministry with me, which I am very grateful for. He also goes into the workforce. First as a barista, then he goes to work long hours at a printing company. Then, quite unexpectedly, he is tutored into the IT field. Which, in large part due to monklike focus and work ethic, he excels.

Around this time, Lauren - someone he had been in contact with all this time - returns from her own monastic adventures and is similarly trying to figure out what to do with her life. If there was ever a match for Ben, it would be Lauren. Someone who shares his traits of a ponderous, contemplative disposition matched with an inner fire and passion. And the two of them start attending various Catholic junkets together.

I start pointing out the obvious to him: The Lord has pulled you out of the monastery. He's put another single Catholic lady friend back in your life. And he's given you a respectable job. Hmmm... whatever could He mean by this?! What sphinxian riddles does the Lord write into your life? If only there was someone telling you exactly what the deal was from the first moment.

Well, to cut the story short... these two sea voyagers finally started their journey together back in December of 2024, to the delight of all. Already having known each other for a decade, they kept things short. The engagement came in August. And here we are today. We have seen the boats come to shore.

So now, Ben, I'll tell you what the fire is for. We are all witnesses to you both taking perpetual vows in this two person religious community you have formed. So you take the fire, and like the brave conquistadors of old, you burn down the ships. And out of the remains you set up your habitation in this new world. All that came before on your wild and  improbable journey are the materials you now use to build this new life together.

So I offer this toast:

May all of us rise to assist you whenever you are in need.  May God bless you both, and may you be a blessing to others. Cheers!