Was Jesus Disrespectful to His Mom at Cana?

Dear Apologist, why does Jesus refer to Mary as “woman” at the wedding feast of Cana?  Isn’t that degrading?

The exchange between Jesus and Mary in John 2:3-5 is among the most mysterious in the New Testament.  Indeed, some anti-Catholics seize upon this passage to prove Jesus actually held His mother in contempt (contrary to the claims of those Mary-obsessed Papists!).

However, this assertion would mean accusing the second person of the Trinity of sinning against the Fourth Commandment.  So let’s first dispense with the idea that Jesus meant anything harsh or disrespectful with the word “woman”.



Other Examples:

If one searched the New Testament, one would find Jesus referred to at least five other women as “woman”.  Each time the context has Him using it while offering praise or showing compassion.  Here's some examples:

The Syrophoenician woman:

"She said, 'Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table.' Then Jesus answered her, 'O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.' And her daughter was healed instantly." - Matthew 15:27-28

The crippled woman:

"Now he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said to her, 'Woman, you are freed from your disability.'” - Luke 13:10-12

The woman at the well:

"The woman said to him, 'Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.' Jesus said to her, 'Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father.'" - John 4:19-21

The woman caught in adultery:

"[Jesus] stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?'”  - John 8:7-10

Mary Magdalene after the resurrection:

"Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?'”  - John 20:13-15

So this was not a term of derision, but rather one of esteem and affection.  Some folks say "Madam" might be a better English equivalent.


What was meant?

But what did Jesus intend in this bizarre exchange?  A literal translation of His words would be:

“What is this to you and me?  My hour is not yet come.” 

Some propose this meant Jesus regarded the lack of wine as too unimportant to warrant divine intervention.   That's one interpretation.

Another interpretation (drawn from Fulton J. Sheen) is that Jesus intended something like, “Do you know what this would mean for us?”

In other words, by performing what John calls His first miracle, Jesus would be initiating a new phase of His public ministry – one which would end His quiet life with Mary and inevitably send Him to the cross.  Thus, when Jesus says “my hour is not yet come”, He’s actually asking for more time with His dear mother.

In any event, it is from the cross that we learn how Jesus truly regarded Mary.  In saying to the disciple, “Behold your mother” [Jn 19:26], He shows He not only regarded Mary as His own mother, but as the mother of all who believe.