- Sirach says to take care of your father in his old age
- Paul gives some moral commandments to the Colossians
- The holy family escapes to Egypt
Homily: 1087 Words
Estimated Time: Seven Minutes
The letter to the Hebrews says Jesus was like us in all things except sin. God could have come down from Heaven as a full grown adult. He could have descended fully formed from the clouds and immediately begun His ministry. But instead Christ chose to become one of us – to become a helpless child in a poor family. God decided to have a mother and an adopted father. It says in Luke’s Gospel that He obeyed His parents and grew in wisdom. Can you imagine this? The Christian faith asserts that someone had to change God’s diapers. That God Almighty got told to wash His hands and go to bed. The Lord of Hosts was assigned household chores.
Today’s second reading contains Paul’s moral wisdom for the disciples in Colossae, and by connection… for you. And on this feast of the Holy Family, we should reflect on how these words get lived out in our own families. Is your house a place of compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness? It’s so easy to become cynical about family life. To say, “How unrealistic. Have you seen my kids? Have you met my spouse?” But I think most of us know a family or two which seems to be living in this kind of domestic bliss – or something near to it anyway. We may look at them with envy or annoyance, but we should know that the grace of God is sufficient to work in our lives too.
That’s not to say there won’t be problems. Or else why would Paul insist we practice forgiveness? Yes, there will be problems, but it is possible to have a truly happy family life. It is possible to have a “domestic Church”. Paul says to do everything in the name of the Lord and to be thankful for everything. That’s a good place to start – with thankfulness. Be thankful for you wife, your husband, your kids. Maybe tell them periodically how thankful you are for them. Let the compassion, kindness, and forgiveness flow from there.
If the bulk of our second reading in Colossians 3 speaks to the duties common to all members of the family, the close of the chapter looks at each member and reminds them of the unique nature of their vocations. “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.” The latter two are relatively noncontroversial. Of course husbands are to love their wives and not be impatient with their children. Of course children are to obey their parents, as long as the parents are not commanding something sinful.
But what is this business about wives submitting to their husbands? Is this a hiccup? A mistake in the text? We can’t say that. The command which Paul gives here in Colossians can also be found in 1Peter 3, Ephesians 5, and Titus 2. To put it plainly, God’s word teaches a principle of husband servant-leadership in the family. Yes, husbands are to serve like Christ, love like Christ, sacrifice like Christ – but they are also to lead like Christ.
What I’ve found is that 95% of the time, both spouses are too busy to really think about living out these passages. The day to day tasks see husbands and wives operate as equals, not having to think about what these passages mean. But they are still there. And they still demand things about both men and women.
Now, this is something which - upon mentioning - folk’s minds immediately run to worst possible scenarios. Does this mean a woman has no say in any decisions? Does it mean she has to uncritically do anything she’s asked? What if the husband is truly terrible? I once had a person admit to me that this teaching is truly a Biblical teaching, but it is so wildly dangerous that it needs to be ignored.
What I’ve found is this doctrine is scary in the abstract and beautiful in the particular. It helps tremendously to put a face on the thing. We see in the Gospel today how God chose to guide the Holy Family. That is, God informed Saint Joseph – the righteous man – and he obeyed immediately. Ladies, if you imagine a man after the heart of Saint Joseph, a man who spends himself selflessly for his family, who listens to God, who is faithful and kind ... perhaps you can think of an example in your own life. Is it so terrifying to imagine following such a man’s leadership?
That said, hardly a man here could claim to be of the caliber of Saint Joseph or a woman who can hold a candle to Mary. But still… the Holy Family is the pattern which the Bible places before us to strive for.
It’s a call to you husbands to be like Joseph to both your wife and your children. To be a selfless servant who is patient, humble, kind, and merciful, but also express the masculinity of a true Christian spiritual leader. Studies have repeatedly shown that father’s influence in the house is the most important factor for success in passing on the faith. Ask yourselves are you fulfilling that role? Are you modelling for your children a man of God? Someone who honors and loves his wife. Someone who looks forward to going to Mass, reading the Scriptures, going to Confession, and praying.
Likewise, the example of the Holy Family is call to women to foster their husbands in living out their vocation - and being his helper and partner. Do you encourage your husband, do you thank him for doing his job well? Do you take your husband seriously and values his leadership… even if it means going with him on something you disagree about? The common sitcom version of a father is a bumbling fool who mostly gets in the way. Is that a stereotype which has no place in your household?
Both men and women can fail in these tasks in a variety of ways. But the solution is not to grow in resentment and distrust, but for husbands and wives – and children - to turn to Christ for the mercy and grace to do better. Christ humbled Himself to be born in a human family. As we receive the Eucharist today, let us pray for the grace to make our family like His.
No comments:
Post a Comment