The TL;DR Bible: First Corinthians

Today we continue our journey through the "Too Long; Didn't Read" Bible with Paul's first letter to the troubled community in Corinth.

Chapter 1

Hey, Corinthians!  I’m thankful for all that God has done for you.

I want you all to be unified.  Chloe tells me you are all splitting into groups based on which apostle baptized you.  That's so foolish and wrong that it makes me glad I only baptized a few people.

The message of Jesus Christ is nonsense to people who are wise in the ways of the world.  We preach Christ crucified – and neither the Greeks nor the Jews understand it.

But God chose the humble and foolish to be His.  Jesus is the source of your life and your salvation.  He is the only thing we have to brag about.

Chapter 2

I came to you humbly, simply preaching Christ.  I did not have lofty philosophies, only the power of the Holy Spirit.  What we have is the wisdom of God, which the powerful men of this world cannot understand.  To the worldly man, who lacks the Holy Spirit, the things of God will sound like madness.

 

Chapter 3

But you seem to be more like this worldly men yourselves.  Isn’t that what you are when you break up into these personality factions?

You need to understand us in the proper light.  We Apostles are just workers in God’s garden.  We're His construction workers.  And you are the Temple of God.

The foundation we lay is Jesus Christ.  Now, each of us builds on that foundation with various materials.  The day of judgement will reveal the quality of the work by fire.  If the work is burned up, the builder will still be saved, but he will suffer first.

Therefore, do not brag about your allegiances to men – and do not try to be wise in the ways of the world.

Chapter 4

Regard us as servants.

Personally I do not care what any human thinks of me.  I don’t even judge myself.  I don’t believe I have done anything wrong, but that doesn’t make me innocent.  It is the Lord who will judge me.   That is the attitude Apollos and I have taken, so learn from us.

You all esteem yourselves too highly, like royalty.  Meanwhile we Apostles live like poor outcasts and criminals.  But we endure.

I am trying to admonish you as a father.  That's what I am to you.  I am sending Timothy to you for now, but I hope to visit personally soon.

Chapter 5

I have even heard that among you is a man who is in a sexual relationship with his own stepmother.  Cast him out!  Perhaps he will repent if you expel him from your midst.  You are not to associate with immoral people in the Church.

Chapter 6

I hear you are also suing one another in the Roman courts.  Are you not competent to decide these things in the Church?  It’s a great scandal that you are doing this – better that you be defrauded by your brethren than go to Roman courts.

Don’t you realize that people engage in grave immorality won’t go to Heaven?  Murderers, thieves, the sexually immoral – there is no eternal inheritance for these folks.  And some of  you were once like that, but then you were baptized.

You think the Gospel means you can do anything you want?  Nonsense.  Consider your dignity as members of the body of Christ.  Would you really unite a member of the body of Christ to a prostitute?

Think of your dignity as a temple of the Holy Spirit!  You need to flee from all immorality and glorify God with your body.

Chapter 7

Let's talk about marriage.

If you are divorced, you have two options:  Either reconcile with your spouse or remain celibate.  That is the teaching of Jesus.  If one of the spouses dies, the other is free to marry again.

It’s good for people to remain unmarried and celibate. That's how I am. Consider how much more anxious married people have to be about the things of this world.  A celibate person can devote his undivided attention to the Lord.

But it’s not for everyone.  For those of you who cannot control your passions, you should take a spouse.  The one who marries does well.  The one who remains celibate does better.

Everyone should live as God calls them to.

Chapter 8

It is just fine to eat meat which comes from pagan sacrifices.  Their “gods” don’t really exist.  However, some people are still really bothered by it.  If eating meat from the animals used pagan sacrifices scandalizes your brother or sister, refrain from doing so for his sake.

Chapter 9

I do have the right to be married like Peter.  Likewise, I also have the right to not work and take payment for my ministry.  But I didn't!  I just wanted to see you believe the Gospel.  That is my reward.

I have adapted myself to whatever culture I preach in so I can be more effective.  And I maintain strict discipline on myself, that way I – (who has preached salvation to so many others) – do not lose my own.

Chapter 10

Do not forget the example of the Hebrew nation in the wilderness.  They were recipients of grace, but God was still displeased with the majority of them.  This is a warning to us to avoid immorality.  God will strengthen you against any temptation.

The Lord’s Supper is a participation in the body of Christ, and the source of our unity.   In a smiliar way, those who partake in the food of Jewish Temple sacrifices are participants in their worship.  This is why - (while the idol is still nothing) - you absolutely cannot participate in their sacrifices.

In conclusion; Don’t make a fuss about the source of the food you buy in the market or at the house of a friend.  Just eat and give thanks.

Chapter 11

Let’s talk about code of conduct during worship.

There ought to be a standard of dress.  Men should keep their heads uncovered.  When should keep their heads uncovered. That’s the way it’s done everywhere else.

Also, I can hardly believe this, but I hear you break up into groups prior to worship and eat separate meals.  And you exclude the poor, so they go hungry.  This is contemptible.

I passed to you the same tradition I received.  Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this in remembrance of me.”

Whoever eats or drinks unworthily will profane the body and blood of the Lord.  This is why some of you are sick and even dead.

Chapter 12

Let’s talk spiritual gifts.

There are a variety of gifts and charisms; wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, prophecy, tongues, interpretation, and others.  They all come from the same spirit.

All of our gifts are meant to work together in the body of Christ.  No one can look at another person and say, “I don’t need you.”  In fact, those gifts which are more humble and hidden are the more honorable ones.

So there should be no division among us.  If one of us is honored, all of us are honored.  If one of us suffers, we suffer together.

But now let us talk about the greatest gift…

Chapter 13

If I had any one of these gifts, but did not have love, that gift would be useless.  If I gave away all of my possessions to the poor, but do not have love, I would have no reward.

Love is patient and kind.  It is not arrogant, rude, or pushy.  It isn’t irritable or resentful.  It rejoices in the truth.  Love endures all things.

All of the other spiritual gifts will pass away eventually, but love never ends.  In Heaven we will have love.  There is faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest is love.

Chapter 14

Strive for the spiritual gifts, especially prophecy.  This is because prophesying is intelligible to others and builds up the community – whereas speaking in tongues only builds up oneself.  (Unless someone is interpreting)

If I had been speaking in tongues when I first came to you, what good would it have done?  You wouldn’t have understood me.  I do speak in tongues quite a bit, but I would rather speak five intelligible words of instruction than ten thousand words in tongues.

If someone came into your church and heard everyone speaking in tongues, that person would you’ve all gone mad.  Prophesying, on the other hand, will be very convincing to him.  Therefore, don’t let anyone speak in tongues at church if there is no interpreter.

Women need to be silent during Church.  If a woman has any questions, she can ask her husband afterward.  Let everything be done in an orderly and proper way.

Chapter 15

Now let me remind you of the Gospel that I preached, by which we are being saved.

Christ died in accordance with the Scriptures.  He was buried and rose on the third day.  Then he appeared to Peter and to the Twelve.  After that, he appeared to more than 500 of us at once.  Most of them are still living.  After that he appeared to James, then to all the Apostles, and lastly to me.

But I hear that some of you are saying there is no resurrection from the dead. How could that be?  Christ is risen from the dead, isn’t He?  If Christ wasn’t raised, then our whole religion is false!  And we’d be without hope!

On the contrary, Christ was raised first, but one day we’ll be raised like He was.  Then death will be no more.

Chapter 16

When you meet on Sunday, I need you all to take up special collection for the church in Jerusalem.

I hope to visit you soon, but Timothy and Apollos will be there first.  Treat them well.

 In closing; Be watchful, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.  And honor those who have done great service for the Church.

Farewell.