What Was Odd with Mary's Question to Gabriel?

The Catholic Church believes and teaches that Mary (Jesus' mother) had only one child:  Jesus.  

However, many Catholics have experienced the incredulity and shock of their Evangelical friends upon sharing that idea.  The notion seems preposterous to them.

So... where do we get that idea from?  Is it just an assumption thrown onto the text out of nowhere?  Today I want to go over one piece of evidence for this belief.

The Angel's Declaration:  

In Luke's Gospel we read an encounter between Mary and the angel Gabriel.  Let's go through it:

In the sixth month (of Elizabeth's pregnancy) the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary.  And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” 

But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. 

The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 

Let's stop here and consider Mary's state in life and what she was told.  

Mary is a young woman betrothed to Joseph.  Legally, she is married but she hasn't moved in with her husband yet.  She will soon, though.  

Then an angel approaches her and says:  "You will conceive and bear a son.  He will inherit the throne of David."

As Christians we are accustomed to the idea that Mary gave birth miraculously, so we don't think any further about her question.  But let's slow down... because at this point the situation with Mary and the angel is essentially this:  

A young married woman has been told that she will conceive and will have a son.  

Imagine an angel approached your wife (or mother or sister) on the day of her wedding and said:  "You're going to conceive and have a baby boy."

While it is extraordinary to be told this by an angel... the statement itself is nothing out of the ordinary.  Young married women have baby boys all the time.  So while the message may have been relayed in an extraordinary way, the message itself is nothing to be surprised at.

Let's keep going.

Mary's Bizarre Question:

Mary said to the angel, “How shall this be, for I know not man?"

OK, recall the situation:  She - (a young fertile woman with a husband) - was told that she would conceive and have a son.  She was not told she'd already conceived.  She was told she was going to conceive a son.  And her response was:

HOW IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN!?

Ummm.... what do you mean, Mary?  

Given her situation, there was no reason for her to be confused about how a child would come about.  The ordinary thing to assume is that the child would come about the same way children always do; by her husband.

The Resolution:

Now, it might be because she did not know how babies were made... but that seems silly.  

The other explanation is that when she said "I know not man" - she meant that in a present and ongoing sense.  Sort of like a person who says, "I don't smoke" or "I don't drink".  In other words, she wasn't just talking about her past, but an ongoing commitment.  

She actually had no intention of having relations with a man.

In that way, her question would actually make sense.  A woman with no intentions to ever have sex would indeed be confused at being told she'd have a son.  It would be natural for her to ask:  "HOW?!"

This was the conclusion which Augustine of Hippo came to when reflecting on the passage.  He wrote:  

“Her virginity was on this account more pleasing and accepted.  This is shown by the words which Mary spoke in answer to the Angel announcing to her conception; ‘How, shall this be, seeing I know not a man?'  Which assuredly she would not say, unless she had before vowed herself unto God as a virgin. 

 

But she was espoused to a just man, who would rather guard against violent persons what she had already vowed. […] Thus Christ by being born of a virgin, who, before she knew Who was to be born of her, had determined to continue a virgin, chose rather to approve, than to command, holy virginity.”  - On Holy Virginity, 4, A.D. 401

Thus, this passage makes for a strong piece of evidence for the proposition that Mary intended to remain a virgin.  Those proposing that Mary intended a normal marriage need to appreciate the oddity of her question, and ask themselves why she'd ask it.

--------------

For more on the history of belief in the perpetual virginity of Mary, I've recorded more research on the subject in [this] post.